9:41 pm

Dear People Who Stand as Close as Possible During Conversation,

Please stop. I like talking to people, but not if they're about three millimeters away from licking my forehead when they speak.You may not have realized it, but being close enough to tell what brand of toothpaste you don't use makes me uncomfortable. An easy rule to follow for you tact-impaired individuals is if you're close enough to fuse with me and form a symbiotic organism, that's too close. Back away until I no longer look like a child listening to his parents argue about who ordered the complete Buttsluts saga, movies I to XVII.

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