Well, it's finally happened. I was really hoping to avoid this, but there comes a time when every blog has a self conscious, "I'll update soon, I swear!" post. Usually, that post is followed by the exact same thing in different words two months later, and then the blog's face is held underwater until there aren't any more bubbles coming up. This can happen for many reasons, including author fatigue, busy real-life schedules, horrible life-altering injuries, and so on.
Good thing I don't have to worry about any of those things! I get up at lunchtime, have no steady job, and the most dangerous thing I do is stay up late watching Cosmos on Netflix until I start staring at the ceiling patterns and thinking about the meaning of life. It's safe to say I'll be here for a while. So what's the deal? Why am I so slow at writing this shit? The reasons are laid out as follows, in no particular order.
~Reasons Why I'm Slow to Update This Blog~
- I'm lazy
- I take seven years to edit shit until my neurotic, perfectionist brain is happy with it
- Videogames exist
- Internet chatrooms also exist
- Little green men have stolen my funny and I can't get it back
What's that? You have no sympathy for the blogger with an incredibly easy life? Ah, but you see, it's so hard to... um... to type words with no restrictions, requirements, or... or...
Yeah, I'm going to stop digging this hole. All I will say is that I can, with 100% certainty, promise you a fat man covered in glitter falling through a wall, this week.
Prepare to be shocked.